During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. SkinsCastSelection He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. which was shortened over time to FML. By

Today, I was taking a nap. 30/8/2015 04:49 - She hit the wall. Today, I texted my boyfriend saying "Hi." Make me anonymous 6/12/2015 15:36 Don't need to post the whole FML website here. - United States - Des Moines

Then I took the note from him.

from fml.com :) what's the funniest one you've ever read, or the most MESSED up one? While the page fmylife.com , from which these stories came, was started in 2008, it had reached its glory age in 2009 when their book was published. funniest: Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. Favorite. There were seven other people in the elevator. - Note that the downloads in the list below are for getting a specific version of Forge. Funniest FMLs of the Day By messy jessy - 7/9/2020 11:01 - United States . FML - Top 5 Worst iPhone Fails - Duration: 1:40. FMLToday, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. - Australia - Brisbane Then when i tried to pull out she wrapped her legs around me and screamed "i want you to be the father of my children".. FML....cant realy think of others right now.. if i remeber some, ill come back. 18/3/2012 02:32

Apparently, my two year old daughter decided to crawl on top of the covers on my bed because she was scared since there was a thunder storm. FMLToday, my boyfriend told me he couldn't hang out with me because he felt really sick. - United States - Tampa As I was driving away, I checked my food and the lady had given me a Night at the Museum Happy Meal toy by mistake. 25/12/2013 23:19 Your story must start with “Today,” and end with “FML”. Tweet Share By Jessie - 5/7/2011 16:34 - United States Today, I got stuck listening to my coworker bang on about how sexy her fiancé is for almost an hour. I went to his house anyway to surprise him with homemade soup. When he gave me a hug goodbye, he slid his hand into the back pocket of my jeans. With a Ring Pop. Here's the round up of the 10 funniest FML's published over the past month, according to our users' votes! FML.Alright we get the point. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Before I could stand, he grabs onto me and says, "I'm a koala and you're my eucalyptus tree!" By FMLToday, I was sitting on a bench enjoying the sun, when a guy came and sat next to me. 21/8/2012 13:04 4. - United States - Saint Cloud 21/11/2014 00:29 Feel like sharing it with the other FML users? I ran up the row, grabbed his test, and ripped it into four pieces. I'm 36. today I bitmy boyfriend's neck. He insinuated that he was only able to achieve erections because I looked like a man. FMLI haven't really heard any FML's and yours are funny but this is a real one:I was working at a store, it was almost time to close up and usually there aren't people around, I started singing and dancing (really embarassing moves) then after a while of getting my groove on, turned, and right behind me was a group of really hot guys who had just seen me doing the Egyptian and had their phones out FML.Today, I discovered my neighbors have bought a karaoke machine. See more ideas about Bones funny, Just for laughs, Make me laugh.

My fav is Don't worry about putting a condom on. Holding FMLToday, I found out that I'm pregnant. About halfway through, I noticed one kid had a small piece of paper in his hand. His response: "I got your best … FMLat present, I went to the bookstall.

FMLmessed up: Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. See more ideas about Funny quotes, Bones funny, Quotes. By These are always good. Unless you need this, prefer the links to latest and recommended builds above instead. 16/7/2015 17:03 31/1/2015 01:25 She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy, no more please." It seems like everytime things are looking up for me I get knocked down lower then ever before. Get your answers by asking now.NYT reporter booted from Trump rally after mask tweet'Fuller House' star won't apologize for intimate picOscar winner sues union over 'barbaric' health plan'Fresh Prince' actress ends 27-year feud with Will SmithNetflix defends controversial film 'Cuties' amid backlashA father's desperate attempt to save son from fires FML. Funniest FML's you have ever heard? FMLToday, I met a really nice guy. at the same time as i replaced into in line, I heard all human beings speaking approximately how a e book cart had gotten loose and rolled down the parking zone right into a motor vehicle, smashing the front. He told me his name, and when I replied with mine, it came out sounding like "I'm a bear." Don’t try reposting old FMLs, we’re not that daft. FML"you got some pretty funny ones there lol sadly i dont remember anyHow do you think about the answers? Follow the instructions below, and if your story gets through the moderation process, it'll published in the next 24 hours. You can sign in to vote the answer.Still have questions? By 96 Comments. He was funny, handsome, and we were both into each other. Failed Artist funniest: Today, my husband of 9 years announced he was gay. See more ideas about Fml stories, Fml, Stories. By good job brain FMLToday, I was robbed by a guy wearing a ninja turtle costume. He then continued to latch onto me for a good five minutes pretending to eat my hair. -